Hullo, and welcome to a lesson on things they didn't teach y'all in sexual activity-ed. The topic today: pegging. Well-nigh often, pegging is used to refer to a hetero, cisgender woman who uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate a hetero, cisgender man. Merely unfortunately, because anal sex has historically been associated as a "gay men deed," many straight men don't consider pegging.

This, my friends, is a travesty, because the prostate is clogged of pleasure for your male friends—it's called the p-spot. And, howdy, newsflash: Where and how yous receive pleasure does not decide your sexuality. Period.

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Even more than so, for those who habiliment the strap-on, information technology tin can exist incredibly hot playing around with power dynamics. Don't believe me? Have it from these six women who dish on their personal pegging experience. Notice how they pretty much had…cypher bad to say well-nigh it.

Accept yous tried pegging with a serious partner or in a casual human relationship (or both)?

  • "I have tried pegging with a serious partner after nosotros had been together for about iii years." —Sophie, 25
  • "Aye, with my serious partner." —Taylor, 55
  • "But with serious partners who were very into it already. I wouldn't exist averse to doing it casually, merely both of my partners waited until we were very close to bring it upwards out of shyness or embarrassment." —Anna*, 28
  • "I've only washed it in one case. It was with a serious partner—we'd been dating for six months." —Bea*, 22
  • "I've tried pegging with my husband. He'south definitely a serious partner. I'd also exist open up to trying it with casual relationships. We're poly, and sometimes we play with others." —Catherine*, 35
  • "I've pegged my long-term partner—my husband of xi years." —Diane*, 38

What tools or toys did you utilize?

  • "We started off with using a slim dildo to exam out the sensation and figure out if it was something that he would like to continue on doing. Nosotros tried prostate toys and butt plugs before, merely he wasn't sure about the longer length being comfy. Nosotros as well found that information technology was of import to take a sturdy harness as well, because it fabricated thrusting and moving a lot easier and less awkward." —Sophie, 25
  • "I used a traditional strap-on harness with a dildo." —Taylor, 55
  • "I used a strap-on with both partners I've pegged and enough lube to drown a horse. Both strap-ons were softer silicone models, but one had a vibe that also pleasured the wearer." —Anna, 28
  • "Just a actually smoothen, manifestly dildo." —Bea, 22
  • "I used a harness, which I love because the size range is really forgiving. It fits my big hips nicely. We used a slim silicone dildo, and of course, lots of water-based lube." —Catherine, 35
  • "It'southward important for the person being penetrated to be warmed up, and then we started with me using my fingers. Gloves are swell considering they make clean-upward like shooting fish in a barrel and they protect my partner from my nails. When he was fix, nosotros moved on to using a small butt plug to go on getting him warmed upwards. Then, I wore a harness, which I found to be actually comfy, and paired it with a dildo. Oh and lube—lots of lube." —Diane, 38

And whose idea was it—yours or theirs? What fabricated you desire to attempt it?

  • "We had experimented with anal play on me, and he was curious about whether it would exercise anything for him as well. Every bit he got more comfortable with the sensations and the idea of things, we decided to requite pegging a try. It was probably more my idea than his, but I think it was as well an intriguing thought to flip our electric current couple dynamic on its head." —Sophie, 25
  • "It was his idea, as I told him that I had never washed it before. Information technology was a fantasy of mine to meet if I could exercise it, if I was any expert at it (I am), and if I would savour information technology (I did)."
    —Taylor, 55
  • "It was my partner'due south thought the first time. He'd done it earlier, loved it, and in one case nosotros got serious, he asked me to give information technology a effort. The 2nd partner had to be prompted a little on my part." —Anna, 28
  • "His. Once, I had asked him what he wanted to do. He told me he wanted to 'get a bit crazy,' and and so he suggested I penetrate him with a dildo." —Bea, 22
  • "I don't even know whose idea it was. We have both worn anal plugs during intercourse, and he's not dainty about barrel play. He doesn't have the sexual hangups that some guys seem to have well-nigh it, which I appreciate. I recall this detail night, I asked if he wanted to endeavour it and he said yep, especially since we'd just bought the harness." —Catherine, 35
  • "Information technology was an idea we'd both mentioned at different times, and so I think it was pretty mutual. I was curious what it would be similar to be the i doing the penetration and he was curious about what it would feel like." —Diane, 38

What did you do to prepare?

  • "Lots of lube and douching beforehand was key, as well every bit taking our time. The dildo nosotros started off with was very slim, and we'd used wider plugs earlier, so the size wasn't an effect. He was more concerned with the idea of being thrust into, so I just made sure to movement slowly and let him control the pace until he was comfortable for me to set the stride." —Sophie, 25
  • "I was so unprepared. He brought the dildo over equally a surprise to me, so I had no prep time mentally. He, on the other hand, had been preparing for almost 2 weeks, every bit he had not been penetrated by anyone in more than than ii years." —Taylor, 55
  • "I researched everything in that location was to know nigh anal. I was determined to go into the situation really prepared. So I went out and bought, like, a gallon of lube and a strap-on that suited me. Only seriously: lube." —Anna, 28
  • "Just lube. It was an extremely smooth, pocket-sized dildo. It was the size of, similar, maybe two tampons together, or maybe fifty-fifty only one. It wasn't that big." —Bea, 22
  • "Took our time! Regular foreplay, lots of stimulation, fingering to loosen things up. It was important that he was really turned on beforehand." —Catherine, 35
  • "Lots of warm-upward before actually pegging him. Prior to any play, he showered and used the bathroom, which I think helped him experience more comfortable." —Diane, 38

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Were there whatever challenges once you got going?

  • "We fabricated sure that nosotros were both communicating about how things were going for each of us, so we didn't have whatsoever issues exactly. He was a little tender the twenty-four hour period afterwards the beginning time we tried pegging, as his body wasn't used to that type of stimulation."
    —Sophie, 25
  • "No. Have lots of practiced lube on hand and NEVER use desensitizing lubricant. The ane identify you desire to know if there is pain is in the anus, and not after the fact."
    —Taylor, 55
  • "Height departure? Beingness a pes shorter than someone you lot are trying to screw is a little more awkward than when those measurements are reversed. Solution: Bend them over something." —Anna, 28
  • "No, not at all. I don't fifty-fifty know if nosotros did information technology the right way or anything. It was super spur of the moment." —Bea, 22
  • "Finding a adept angle was difficult! It was hard to align our hips properly. We ended upwardly trying a few different positions. Because the dildo isn't my body, I couldn't feel what I was doing without a hand down there. I couldn't tell if I was actually penetrating or just bumping awkwardly around near his ass." —Catherine, 35
  • "We had to attempt out different positions because there's a pretty significant elevation deviation between the states, then it was merely a matter of figuring out what worked best. We found that him lying on his side with his knees bent with me kneeling with the front end of my thighs confronting the back of his worked actually well. In that position, the height deviation wasn't an issue and I liked that we could nonetheless look at each other." —Diane, 38

What did you lot like most about pegging?

  • "Nosotros both felt similar it was a cracking bonding feel and took our physical relationship to the next level. Information technology meant that I took more control, and he had to allow me, which meant more than trust was given to me as well." —Sophie, 25
  • "He trusted me to exercise this to him. He loved submitting to me and I loved him submitting to me." —Taylor, 55
  • "Pegging is great considering it puts yous in a role you lot're non really used to existence in every bit a woman. There are aspects of dominance, power, intimacy, and strength that I don't recall we get to feel in quite the aforementioned wordless way when it comes to vanilla sexual activity." —Anna, 28
  • "Information technology was overnice to accept control. And it was really interesting to run into how much he liked information technology. It kind of took me aback, like, Wow, he actually likes that. We never did information technology again though, interestingly." —Bea, 22
  • "I'm always excited most trying something new. I liked giving him the opportunity to try something he'd been wanting to try, and information technology'due south fun to play with sexual activity toys."
    —Catherine, 35
  • "Every time I did something he liked, I could feel all his muscles squeezing around me. Information technology was really intimate and sexy. My absolute favorite function of information technology was just watching him enjoy himself, particularly because I institute information technology to be a huge plough-on that he's and so comfortable with his torso despite all the negativity and shame around direct men enjoying anal stimulation." —Diane, 38

What was information technology like playing the role of the penetrator?

  • "At offset information technology was quite daunting—particularly because anal play does hateful you demand to be more careful and cautious and so y'all don't hurt your partner. It turns out at that place is a bit of technique required when information technology comes to thrusting! I had very sore hips and ab muscles the next day! But overall, I loved it. It was a totally different experience beingness the penetrator, and there was besides a mental enjoyment out of giving my partner that type of pleasure besides." —Sophie, 25
  • "Honestly, I was very comfortable in that role. I am more ascendant, and being able to express it in that mode was a dream come up true." —Taylor, 55
  • "Pretty groovy. Having a guy underneath y'all, with the gasping and groaning, is spectacular. Information technology's a very energetic act too. Yous're constantly moving. You too have a lot of command over what your partner is feeling and that's fun." —Anna, 28
  • "I liked it. It was very different. I had total control, and he was lying on his stomach, so he wasn't making center contact with me. I constitute it exhilarating in a different mode than merely regular sex—existence in charge of someone else'southward pleasure." —Bea, 22
  • "More often than not at that place were technical issues to work out: how to get the right angle, how to move, how to control speed and depth. Personally, beingness the i in the role of penetrator was new and fun and something I wouldn't heed doing again."
    —Catherine, 35
  • "Fun and more empowering than I expected information technology to exist. I really enjoyed the role reversal and finding new ways to make my partner feel good." —Diane, 38

Is pegging a regular part of your sex life now?

  • "Pegging makes a semi-regular appearance in the bedroom now. It requires a fair amount of training, and so nosotros tend to save it for when we have the house to ourselves and enough fourth dimension to really enjoy it." —Sophie, 25
  • "Sadly, no. We alive in different states now and I don't see him as often. Plus, it'south a lot of work! Bless those men who put in all that piece of work in bed." —Taylor, 55
  • "No. I'm with a dissimilar partner now who isn't into it." —Anna, 28
  • "No. We had really good sexual practice no affair what, then this was just a one-off matter we did that was great too. Merely I recall I would practise information technology once more. In hindsight, I would accept prepared a fleck more and known what to practice, especially with clean-up and stuff." —Bea, 22
  • "Alas, no. Nosotros've simply done it the once. Non because it wasn't enjoyable, simply just because at that place's equipment and prep involved, and it'due south not something he's always in the mood for." —Catherine, 35
  • "Yep and no—we go through phases of what we're both in the mood for, so sometimes it's more a part of our twenty-four hours-to-day sex life than others." —Diane, 38

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Do you have any communication for others who might want to try pegging? Or whose partners want to try information technology?

  • "The nearly important matter is communication. It's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out as planned; he may decide that information technology'south non something for him. The main thing is that you are both communicating almost what is and isn't working for you."
    —Sophie, 25
  • "Practise it with someone you lot trust—someone you really desire to please sexually, as it will be more than gratifying for the both of you lot. Don't do information technology if you don't desire to, no matter how many times they ask. Consent is very sexy and consent has to be on both sides! Exist rested, hydrated, and pay attention to your lover's movements and sounds so that you do non accidentally injure him." —Taylor, 55
  • "I've already said this only lube, lube, lube, lube, lube. Butts practice non self-lubricate at all. Not using enough lube leads to unpleasant experiences and serious injury. Spring for the strap-on with the vibe. Worth it. If your partner has never had anal sex/hasn't washed information technology for a while, become slow. Information technology might hurt a trivial." —Anna, 28
  • "I think first order of business is a petty fleck of nonpenetrative ass play." —Bea, 22
  • "Get for information technology. Don't get hung up in what it ways for your gender or sexual identity. It'due south an area loaded with nerve endings. It's fun to stimulate. Read up, practice with fingers first, and be willing to give it a shot." —Catherine, 35
  • "Communicate with each other—both before and during. Go slowly, make sure your partner is warmed up, and, before trying more fingers or a bigger toy, utilise a lot of lube." —Diane, 38